Puns

Here is a great collection of puns I was forwarded. Let this be a lesson, if your content is good enough, I don't need my karma threatened to forward it on to people (unbelievably, telling me that god will love me if I forward an email to 9 friends is not a huge motivator). Without further ado.

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• The bicycle couldn't stand alone; it was two tired.
• It makes me realize that the things that make English difficult are the things that make it funny.
• A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
• He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• A calendar's days are numbered.
• He had a photographic memory which he never developed.
• When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
• If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.